


7 mois

by broken_fangirl15



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Anger, Break Up, Crying, F/F, First Meetings, Heart broken, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Short One Shot, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fangirl15/pseuds/broken_fangirl15
Summary: First meeting between Carina and Maya after their breakup. 7 months after to be exact.
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	7 mois

**Author's Note:**

> Finale of my 2 fics about Carina (Coeur brisé) & Maya (Photos)

That evening, in front of the hospital, Carina and Maya talked to each other for the first time after 7 months of silence radio. The brunette could see how nervous Maya was, so she started to talk :

« Hi »

« Hi » Maya answered timidly.

« What are you doing here ? »

The blonde was so nervous that she took a breath before she could answer.

« I… I need to talk to you »

« About ? » Carina said, confused.

« About what happened between us 7 months ago… »

« Maya, you cheated on me and I think there is nothing to say about it »

« I know but I owe any apology for what I did to you »

« I don’t need your excuses, Maya. »

« I know that, Carina, but I owe you an apology. I know I fucked up our relationship and I hate myself that I’m only realizing now. I truly need to apology to you because it’s the best I can do. I know I’m the last person you want to see me but better late than never, right ? »

« Fine… » the Italian sighed

« Thank you. Hmm can we talk tonight ? » the blonde answered, relieved.

« Unfortunately no. Andrew is waiting me for dinner at home. »

« Tomorrow ? »

« Sure »

« Okay, meet me at 10am at the seaside »

Carina nodded.

« Then see you tomorrow. Thank you for your time and… have a nice dinner with your brother » Maya said with a shy smile.

« Grazie. Buonanotte Maya »

« Goodnight »

At the end of their conversation, they both walked in the direction of their own homes.

The 2 women had lots of thoughts and feelings after their short chat. Maya was relieved and happy that her ex girlfriend had agreed to meet her the next day. But a part of her was still anxious because she was still struggling to apologize and she had no idea if the brunette would accept it or not. Carina was annoyed and mad because she still wanted nothing to do with her ex. She had spent months collecting the broken pieces of her heart and putting them back together. She had moved on and she wasn’t ready to talk to Maya because she knew that it was going to reopen some old wounds.

The blonde and the brunette didn’t sleep well during night before their meeting because they were both so anxious about it.

The next morning, the Captain woke up at 6am, went for a run for one hour and took a shower, before eating her breakfast. She was dressed and ready to meet Carina early but she still had 2 hours to wait so she tried to do something to keep herself busy. Nothing was working because she was too nervous.

The Doctor woke up at 8am. She was in a bad mood. She wasn’t really excited to meet Maya at the seaside. She got up from her bed, took her breakfast and her shower. Before meeting her ex, she sent a message to her best friend, Giovanna, about the situation :

« Sto per incontrare Maya stamattina e sono così infastidita all'idea » _(I’m going to meet Maya this morning and I’m so annoyed by this)_

« lo so, sarei infastidita anch'io e probabilmente nervosa conoscendomi ma penso ancora che ce la farai » _(I know, I would be annoyed too and probably nervous knowing myself but I still think that you can make it)_

« Ma non voglio veramente vederla dopo tutti quei mesi in cui ho dovuto raccogliere i pezzetti del mio cuore per sentirmi meglio. Sento che potrà farmi male di nuovo... Ed onestamente, perché ora ? E non 7 mesi fa, subito dopo che mi ha sbattuto la sua confessione ? » _(But I don’t really want to see her after all these months where I had to collect the broken pieces of my heart to get better. I feel like she is going to hurt me again… And honestly, why now ? And not 7 months ago, just after she had thrown her confession in my face ?)_

« In mia opinione, lei non era veramente lucida o concentrata abbastanza nella sua mente mentre ti stava sputando in faccia tutta quella merda. A volte quando il panico ci assale, noi diciamo cose senza pensarci due volte e solo dopo ci rendiamo conto di cosa abbiamo fatto ai nostri cari. Poteva averla gestita molto meglio ma come ho detto, quando siamo vittime del panico come quando lo siamo della tristezza o della rabbia, noi diciamo e facciamo cose di cui ci pentiamo l'attimo dopo e perché non le aggiustiamo subito? Perché ci vergognamo a volte, ci vergognamo così tanto che preferiamo aspettare molti mesi prima di parlare o di vedere la persona che abbiamo ferito, di nuovo. » _(In my opinion, she really wasn’t lucid or focused enough in her mind while she was spitting out all of that shit. Sometimes when the panic washes all over us, we just say things without thinking twice and only after do we realize what we’ve done to our dear ones. She could have managed the thing much better but as I said, when we are victims of panic like when we are victims of sadness or anger, we say and do things we regret afterwards and why don’t we fix it immediately? Because we feel ashamed sometimes, so ashamed that we prefer to wait many months before to speak or even see the person we have hurt, again.)_

« Okay capisco ma sono andata avanti... Ho passato gli ultimi mesi a riprendermi e sto meglio ora, anche se a volte fa ancora male ma sono andata avanti...

Perché dovrei ascoltare le sue scuse ? »

_(Okay I understand but I moved on… I spent the past few months getting better and I am better now, even if sometimes it still hurts but I moved on…_

_Why should I listen to her excuses ?)_

« Se tu hai detto di esser andata avanti, significa anche che hai accettato il sentimento di dolore e l'hai processato. Hai accettato il dolore che non dura per sempre. Infatti, sei andata avanti, non sei più bloccata con un grande dolore, sei stata coraggiosa. Ci serve coraggio per andare avanti, per girare pagina al prossimo capitolo. Tu ascolta solo cos'ha da dire e poi, decidi se ciò che sta dicendo sarà: cazzata o verità. » _(If you say you’ve moved on, it also means that you have accepted the hurt feeling and you have processed it. You accepted the pain which doesn’t last forever. In fact, you moved on, you are not stuck anymore with that huge pain, you’ve been brave. It takes courage to move on, to turn the page to the next chapter. Just listen to what she would like to tell you and then, you decide if what she’s saying, will be : bullshit or truth)_

« Okay bene, l'ascolterò » _(Okay fine I will listen her)_

« Buona fortuna, bambina !! » _(Good luck baby girl !!)_

« Grazie, ti voglio bene » _(Thank you. Love you)_

The Italian woman felt a bit better after her conversation with her best friend but a part of her wasn’t ready to meet Maya. She wasn’t ready to get hurt again and she was anxious.

Carina was the first one to arrive at the seaside. She sat on a bench. Waiting for Maya, she was looking at the beautiful view in front of her, lost in her thoughts. Her heart was racing.

Maya, with 2 cups of coffee in her hands, had seen Carina on the bench but she stopped for a few minutes to stare at her ex who was looking at the sea. She was beautiful. The blonde was trying to memorize that image of the woman who had changed her life, in case it was over between them.

After a few minutes of admiring her, the firefighter took a big breath and joined the brunette on the bench.

« Hi » she said

« Hey »

« Here I bought your favorite coffee » the gold medal champion said while giving the cup to the doctor.

« Oh. Grazie » the brunette answered with a polite smile and took a sip of her coffee.

The 2 ex lovers were sitting on the bench with a small space between them. They didn’t face each other yet so there was a moment of silence and then, the blonde woman turned to face the brunette woman, said :

« You look great and… tanned »

« Yeah I spent one month in Italy on vacation. I needed it » answered the Italian with a smile.

« I’m glad you had a great time at home »

« Grazie »

Maya could feel that Carina wasn’t really happy to be there, she could feel her tension as she saw her running her fingers through her hair but she was trying her best to talk to her, to have that conversation with her ex.

« Hmm how is the pregnant woman doing by the way ? »

« She is fine and her baby too. No worries »

« Happy to hear that »

They drank a bit their hot coffee. The tall woman was dying to ask a question to the firefighter after she saw her for the first time, in 7 months, with new hair last night, so she took her courage and asked it :

« What happened to your hair ? »

« Humm long story but to make it short, I cut it because of my father » Maya answered with eyes focused on her cup.

« Why ? »

« Because he grabbed it after I put an end to the fight we were having, when I was at an incident and… and it was just too much. And at the station, after the incident, I… I realized at that moment you were right about him, that everyone was right about him… » the firefighter said with a shaking voice.

« I’m so sorry Maya. Are you okay ? » Carina said with an empathetic look at Maya.

« I… I don’t really know. I mean I’m happy to see you because I have missed you so much but I hate myself for what I did to us. I fucked up the best relationship I ever had »

The blue eyes of the blonde woman were wet and she was trying to hold back her tears but failed.

The Italian hated to see her ex crying. It was breaking her heart and she wanted to hug her but she wasn’t ready yet for that so, instead, she gave a squeeze on her ex’s hand.

« Maya… »

« No please… I’m such an idiot. You were right, I was abused, my dad was abusive but there is no excuse for what I did you and… I… I’m sorry, truly sorry. I regret so badly what I did. I’m sorry »

Carina was skeptic about Maya’s excuses and she was so mad at her for the fact the blonde hurt her so badly months ago, and that their conversation was reopening some old wounds.

« You are right, there is no excuse for what you did to me. A part of me still hates you for breaking my heart so badly. Do you have an idea of what I went through a few months ago ? No, you know what ? You have absolutely no idea because one day, I saw you, with Jack, during a report on TV. You both looked perfectly fine while me, I was throwing things in my apartment because the pain was too hard to handle ! You fucking broke my cuore Maya ! » the brunette said with lots of anger and tears in her brown eyes.

Maya was crying at Carina’s confession.

« I… I’m so sorry Carina. I’m sorry… Please forgive me » the blonde said with a shaking voice while looking at her ex,

« Your excuses are not enough, Maya… You know, I’m not in the habit of fixing broken people but you made me feel some things I had never felt for someone and… and I was ready to tell you I love you, to give you more space but then, you just did the most unforgivable thing ever. You slept with Jack and threw it in my face just to hurt me. It was so cruel. And I… I just can’t forget that and forgive you for what you did to me, Maya… I just can’t. »

The 2 women wiped away their tears.

« I know it’s not enough and maybe it will never be but know that I’m sincerely sorry for what I did. I wish I could go back and not do what I did… »

« Yeah me too… »

The firefighter sighed and the doctor turned her head away to look at the sea. Then the blonde took a breath and said :

« You are the best thing that happened to me in years, and I’m so sorry that I messed up it but I’m not ready to lose you. I can’t lose you. I know I did a bad thing but I was hoping that you would forgive me in the future because I would like us to stay friends… »

« I… I don’t know Maya. I don’t know if it’s a good idea »

« I’m okay spending every day trying to convince you to. And to make huge efforts to show that you can trust me as a friend… »

The brunette was looking at Maya’s blue eyes and she could see that the blonde truly meant her words.

« I need time to think about it » Carina sighed

« I understand »

Then there had a silence, they didn’t talk, weren’t looking at each other. They were focused on the sea, drinking their coffee. And after few minutes of silence, the gold medal champion said :

« I should go »

« Me too…. »

« I know it wasn’t easy for you to meet me today but thank you for to listening me, I appreciate it »

« It’s the best I could do »

They got up off the bench and before they went in their separate directions, Maya asked :

« Can I hug you ? Please ? I would understand if you don’t want to but I miss your hugs… »

The tall woman took a few minutes to think about Maya’s proposition. Hugs, thing Carina loved to give to her loved ones and even if the blonde had hurt her, she missed hugging the small woman.

« Si, come here »

And they hugged each other. It was a heartwarming hug.

While hugging, the brunette whispered ‘ _take care of yourself bella_ ’ to the blonde and Maya answered ‘ _I will_ ’. And they left the seaside.

Maya was happy she had been able to have the conversation with the woman who had changed her life in a short space of time. She felt better and she was hopeful that, with time, Carina would forgive her and they would be friends.

At her apartment, on her couch, Carina sent a message to her best friend telling her about the meeting :

« Dunque... Non so com'è andata. Non ne sono molto sicura. Voglio dire Maya si è scusata ed ovviamente si pente di ciò che mi ha fatto, ho visto onestà nei suoi occhi e nelle sue scuse ma l'incontro ha riaperto delle ferite e fa male… » _(So… I don’t know how it went. I’m not really sure about it. I mean Maya apologized and she obviously regrets what she did to me, I saw in her eyes that she was honest in her excuses but shit the meeting reopened the wounds and it hurts…)_

« A me sembra che è andata bene. Lei si è scusata e si pente del suo errore quindi per me, lei è veramente onesta. Le hai dato una seconda chance o...?

Mi dispiace che sei ferita di nuovo. Sono qui se hai bisogno »

_(It seems like it went well to me_ _._ _She apologized and she regrets her mistake so to me, she is really honest. Did you give her a second chance or… ?_

_I’m sorry that you are hurted again. I’m here if you need me)_

« No affatto. Sai che non posso dimenticare e perdonarlo per ciò che mi ha fatto ma mi ha chiesto se possiamo restare amiche perché non vuole perdermi » _(Not at all. You know that I can’t forget and forgive her for what she did to me but she asked if we could stay friends because she doesn’t want to lose me)_

« E tu che le hai detto ? » _(And what did you tell her ?)_

« Che mi serve tempo per pensarci su perché c'è molto da metabolizzare. E non so se posso fidarmi di lei come amica... E lei mi ha detto che per lei andrà bene passare ogni giorno nel cercare di convincermi che potrò fidarmi di lei di nuovo » _(That I needed time to think about it because it’s a lot to process. And I don’t really know if I can trust her as a friend… And she told me that she is okay spending every day trying to convince me that I can trust her)_

« E tu, tu cosa vuoi ? Ci tieni ancora a lei ? Ti ci rivedi nell'esserle amica dopo quello che ti ha fatto ? » _(And you, what do you want ? Do you still care about her ? Do you see yourself being friends with her after what she did to you ?)_

« È quello il problema Giovanna, NON NE HO IDEA ! Non vedo me stessa in una relazione con lei di nuovo. Mi ha fatto così male. Ma come amica ? Non ne ho idea. Forse ? » _(That’s the problem Giovanna, I HAVE NO IDEA ! I don’t see myself being in a relationship again with her. She hurt me so badly. But as a friend ? I have no idea. Maybe ?)_

« Ti conoscono e penso che una parte di te ci tiene ancora a lei perché è ciò che sei, Carina. Tu tieni alle persone non importa cosa » _(I know you and I think a part of you still cares about her because it’s who you are, Carina. You care about people no matter what)_

« Hai ragione, una parte di me ci tiene ancora a lei ma come posso fidarmi di lei come amica ? Sono così spaventata che lei rovinerà anche la nostra amicizia, giusto come ha fatto con la nostra relazione… » _(You are right, a part of me still cares about her but how can I trust her as a friend ? I’m so scared that she will lash out too in our friendship, just like she did in our relationship…)_

« Se a lei sta bene passare tutti i giorni per convincerti a fidarti di lei nuovamente, penso che dovresti provarci. Provaci e prendi tutto il tempo di cui hai bisogno se vuoi esserle amica » _(If she is okay spending every day trying to convince you to trust her, I think you should give it a try. Give it a try and just take all the time you need to trust her if you want to be friends)_

« Non lo so… » _(I don’t know…)_

« Provaci. Che hai da perdere ? » _(Try. What do you have to lose ?)_

« Beh il mio cuore di nuovo… » _(Well my heart again…)_

« Vero ma io sarò lì per raccogliere i pezzi rotti » _(True but I will be there to pick up the broken pieces)_

« Grazie amore.

Non so ancora pronta per questo con Maya. È troppo presto »

_(Thank you love._

_I’m just not ready yet for this with Maya. It’s too soon)_

« Prendi solo tutto il tempo di cui hai bisogno. Puoi iniziare con un messaggio domani, o fra un mese o fra un anno ma se Maya ci tiene a te, sarà paziente perché lei sa che ha mandato all'aria la vostra relazione » _(Just take your time if you need to. You can start with a message tomorrow, or in one month or in one year but if Maya cares about you, she will be patient because she knows she messed up your relationship)_

« Già… » _(Yeah…)_

« Starai bene bellissima e ci sarò se avrai bisogno di me » _(You will be okay beautiful and I will be there if you need me)_

« Grazie mille per esserci. Ci penserò » _(Thank you so much for being here. I will think about it)_

« Bene » _(Good)_

« Ti amo » _(Love you)_

« Ti amo anch’io » _(Love you too)_

The Italian woman was skeptical about the friends thing. She wasn’t ready yet for it, she needed first to get herself better after the meeting because it had been a lot emotionally for her. But she would think about it, she would weigh the pros and cons of being friends with Maya but knowing herself, there would be a small chance that she would give it a try because, if she was truly honest with herself, she still cared about Maya.

**Author's Note:**

> •cuore : heart
> 
> Shoutout to my best friend for the translation of the conversations with Giovanna in Italian


End file.
